What if we do make it?

What if we do make it?

The real work is about to begin. I feel like we have been saying that for months now, but we’re really serious this time. At this point, I’m not sure what the real work is supposed to be. It could be the research we have been doing. Or it could be the coming trips to gather stories and hopefully fill in the gaps of who Leo was. Either way, I’ve been wondering what we hope to get out of this. I lose track of what we are going for. Between the various books and building projects, it can be hard to understand or remember what the point of all this is. A series of children’s books has very little to do with building a farm. And a book about getting to know Leo has next to nothing to do with building a candy store. So, if you aren’t sure what we are trying to do, you are in good company. Half the time we can’t figure out what we are trying to do either.

And there might not be a good answer for what we are trying to get out of this. We aren’t too different from a couple dogs chasing a car. We wouldn’t know what to do if we caught it, but we can’t help ourselves. Our optimism fluctuates on an hourly basis, but, for now, we are feeling like this could go somewhere, so we should work towards preparing ourselves for striking pay dirt. I could speak for Ryan, but I won’t. I’ll let him tell you what he is hoping to do with this. For me, I’m still working on defining what I hope this will be. The writing projects are more a means to an end. They aren’t really the point of this. The writings are a vehicle for something bigger. Hopefully. This is my stumbling block. I don’t know what I am hoping to be able to do. It’s almost like asking what I would do if I won the lottery, because, successfully, publishing a book would be like winning the lottery. At this point, there isn’t a need to have a clear answer for this. We have time to work on answering this and I can rest on knowing that this should be the start of something bigger.

While that is hardly an answer, it is close enough to one to keep me motivated. This entire journey has been motivated by little more than loosely formed ideas and absurd dreams. But they keep pulling me forward. It almost seems like a more reasonable way to pursue this. Allowing the road to define itself as we go. While there are grand aspirations involved, that may be the answer to this question. To say I tried. Yes, I want to build something good and lasting as a result of all this, but the most basic answer is that I tried. That I tried to build something good and lasting and meaningful in the world. That I am still fighting the good fight.

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